Super Model Status, like climbing the ladder of a Wolford stocking, it’s the highest of accolades

It’s the job title that has a guest list more exclusive than the Garden of Eden. Models in general are as common as cockroaches, but to be called a ‘supermodel’ means you’ll be invited to every exclusive event in town, except perhaps a chess tournament or scrabble event or anything that requires any scintillating input.

But who cares about that? You’ve made it to the glitterati if you have ‘supermodel’ as your bumper sticker.

So how do you get propelled to ‘supermodel status,’ it’s not like there’s a certificate on the back of our low carb cereal boxes we can send away for.

The truth is much more boring, we must run the gauntlet of model scams and wannabeseens, avoiding any scandalous casting-couch situations. Hit runways all over the world trying not to fall over. Even though this hasn’t stopped Abbey Lee’s rise to the supermodel top, and she seems to have quite the habit of going tits up.

You must star in every glossy you can think of, scantily clad, and perfect those risqué poses, but don’t be too slutty. Just a dash of slutty is fine. You eyes must scream “BUY ME, BUY ME” your products must fly off the shelves on an international scale.

You must stand out in group situations when all the models are clumped together like barn owls, and make people recognize those sultry eyes and now if everyone knows your face then now it’s time they know your name.

Welcome to the status of SUPERMODEL BABY, aint that just super? *Blink*

Their photos drip with sexual desire, wonton lust and beer commercial innuendo. You could literally put plastic dog poo in their Midas touch embrace and people want it, people want them, we want to be them. Their photos line the walls of sperm banks, and with shouts of orgasmic glee and satisfaction fill up test tubes the world over.

With power to sell anything they are hired to slap their pretty little faces on. Sex sells and these girls are doing just that. Straight from the pages of a magazine to your wallet, you will buy whatever those sexy little eyes tell you. *Wink *

So no chance stretch pants, “We don’t wake up for less than $10,000 a day” was the coined phrase from one of the original six supermodels Linda Evangelista the others being Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, Cindy Crawford, Christy Turlington and Kate Moss. Attitude like this wont get you very far these days and in the late 1990’s actresses, pop singers and other entertainment personalities began to gradually replace supermodels on fashion magazine covers and ad campaigns. The pendulum of limelight shifted and left many models in anonymity. Some of us more likely to be found on the back of a milk carton rather than the front of a magazine.

Perhaps supermodels were a tad too bratty? Maybe they hit too many assistants with cell phones? But the popular conspiracy theory explaining the disappearance of supermodels is that designers and fashion editors grew weary of their bad attitudes and took away the privileges of the original six and perhaps there was an industry wide agreement to never again give away such power and wealth to young individuals.

“High prices and poor attitudes contributed less to the decline of the supermodel. As clothes became less flashy, designers turned to models who were less glamorous, so they wouldn’t overpower the clothing. Whereas many supermodels of the previous era were American-born, their accents making for an easier transition to stardom, the majority of models began coming from non-English speaking countries and cultures, making the crossover to mainstream spokesperson and cover star difficult”

Charles Gandee-  associate editor at Vogue.

I myself was called a ‘supermodel’ twice during my career, but that title was just too hot for me to handle, so I never claimed the smoldering hot Oscar of supermodel status and even though there’s a high possibility that it’s my face that stares back at you from those skin creams that you buy, I’m happy to have no name to my face, just a smile with those “Buy me” eyes.

So what does it mean to be called a SUPERMODEL? You don’t get paid any more money if they call you one and never again will models be the overlords of the fashion industry, due to past bratty conduct. It seems to be a term that has lost its significance. It’s a term that has as much hot air as the industry that created it and holds as much weight as the so-called ‘supermodels’ themselves.

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